The Return of Witty Titty! February 8, 2013

(Feature image courtesy of Rebecca Lynn @Pb_RebeccaLynn)

Aaaaaaaaaand we’re back!

For those of you who aren’t well-versed in the (admittedly short) history of #WittyTitty, here’s the Cliff’s Notes version: We post some funny stuff, then there are girls (or boys?) in various states of undress, and we make fun of them. Good times had by all; it’s like the Chive’s Chivettes but with more humor.

FIRST PITCH

Facebook broke the Internet. Yeah, it happened. Yeah, it was probably inevitable. Yeah, it’s truly, pants-shittingly terrifying that something like adding a “Like” button to your website/blog/photo gallery/snuff film portfolio could include you in a truly world-ending cluster-foxtrot which throws us all back to the Myspace and Xanga days.

SECOND PITCH

Armed with this knowledge, would you quit Facebook for money? A 14-year-old girl, in a contract with her father, agreed to deactivate for six months for $200. Mayhaps there’s hope for the younger generation, after all?

Wait, no, no there’s not.

THIRD PITCH

<iframe width=”480″ height=”360″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/-KRJ-vp2jYo&#8221; frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

That happened. Today.

i-dont-want-to-live-on-this-planet-anymore-11372-2560x1600

FOURTH PITCH

Fall Out Boy is BACK! Yes, this isn’t quite funny, really, but I’m really effing excited about it.

Fine, fine, we’ll make it funny. Assholes.

No, it’s not real. No, I don’t think Fall Out Boy sucks. This is for you. ALL FOR YOU!

LAST PITCH

Concluding our list today will be a few funny recent tweets. These were a lot harder to find than you might think.

https://twitter.com/iLyRecords/status/299745623693987840

Now, Your Meme of the Week: Sexually Oblivious Female!

 

And, my personal favorite:

 

THE GOODS

(This week, and for the weeks to come, I’m going straight from Twitter!)

Yes, that’s “Princess Assley.” One wonders if that’s a stage name, of if her parents did actually want her to become a middling, pathetic semi-porn star on Twitter. I’m sure they’re very proud.

http://twitter.com/UpdatedHotties/status/299897182633480192

I’m sorry, you’ve got a little…something…right, no, almost…to the left a little, no, higher, no, you know what? Let me. Oh, wait, it’s not crumbs, it’s depression.

I’m not sure what the one white fingernail is supposed to be, but eff you too, bitch.

https://twitter.com/_have_faith_3/status/299832753178955777

Yes, it’s important to have faith. Faith that one day, your pink shag carpeting will hide the blood when your meth dealer shoots your ass.

https://twitter.com/Kimberleyjader/status/299856433506291712

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there. Could you be a dear and wait while I go find my pants? Thanks.”

 

 

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2 responses to “The Return of Witty Titty! February 8, 2013

  1. Pingback: Witty Titty – February 15, 2013 | Three Yards·

  2. Pingback: Witty Titty - February 15, 2013 - Three Yards·

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