Much like most Internet denizens, we here at Three Yards are huge fans of zombies.
That being said, we’re very well-prepared in the event of the inevitable zombie outbreak and ensuing collapse of civilization as we know it. Whether it be the “way too fast to be dead” zombies of 28 Days Later or the atandard, “everyone can get away unless you have an unfortunate leg injury or are fat or black” undead we know and love from The Walking Dead, zombies are no laughing matter.
Which is why, when something like this comes across Twitter, it raises a few GIANT FUCKING RED FLAGS.
Police believe drug-induced psychosis led naked man to eat victim's face huff.to/JKD971—
HuffPost Miami (@HuffPostMiami) May 29, 2012
HOLY SHIT, right? Naked guy eating a dude’s face, in broad daylight, that takes FIVE gunshots to put down? According to the Miami Herald article, the man was believed to have been suffering from “cocaine psychosis,” which would explain the nudity.
That’s not “cocaine hypnosis,” that’s a FUCKING ZOMBIE. Needless to say, we were not terribly surprised the end of the world has begun in Florida. It’s a weird place.
Hope you have your shotguns ready, because the next summer blockbuster’s probably gonna be a brain-hungry undead abomination of God knocking on your front door.