On Why Girl Scouts Are Not “Communist Lesbians”

So, we here at Three Yards are huge fans of female empowerment.

Sort of. I guess?

Looks like our Google Image Search Robot got confused…we were thinking more along the lines of this:

That’s USA Softball gold medalist Jennie Finch about to pitch some 80-mph empowerment right into your misogynistic nutsack. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

That’s a little more like it. Anywho, that being said, it makes coming across a story like this on Twitter that makes us cringe a bit.

*cough* WHAT? You’ve got to be fucking kidding, right? Wrong. Bob Morris, a Republican legislator from the great Hoosier state of Indiana, apparently hates the Girl Scouts so much, not only is he removing his two daughters from the organization, he’s voting against a celebratory resolution (not a law, or a tax, but a CELEBRATORY FUCKING RESOLUTION) to recognize the 100th anniversary of the Scouts.


In all fairness, the guy does kind of look like a douche right from the get-go, so who’s really surprised here?

He should just have it tattooed on his forehead, save us all a lot of grief.

Basically, Morris states “confirmed sources” (what have we learned about Internet news, kids? We make half this shit up. No joke) that say the Girl Scouts organization is an arm of Planned Parenthood (ooooooh) and:

Morris goes on to say those considered role models by the Girl Scouts are all “feminists, lesbians, or Communists” and claims that troops are no longer allowed to pray or sing Christmas Carols. – Huffington Post

Google Image Search Robot looked for “communist lesbians” and this was the 3rd image, so…we’re pretty sure this makes Bob Morris a fucking idiot.

So, in case anyone reading this is still taking Morris seriously, you can find his full letter to the Indiana legislature here. Also, if you’re interested in letting Rep. Morris know what a flaming ball of cocksuckery he is, here’s his official bio and contact page. Let him know Three Yards sent you!

Guy Fieri: May or may not also be a giant, flaming ball of cocksuckery.

As we like to end on a positive note, here’s a little treat for you. Enjoy.


One response to “On Why Girl Scouts Are Not “Communist Lesbians”

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